Monday, January 12, 2015
Sometimes intentional living means deleting a game off of your phone because you can't quit playing it.
Sometimes it means throwing away most of the 2L bottle of Dr. Pepper because you keep turning it up for "just one more swig."
Sometimes it means hugging your child when they're driving you nuts instead of hiding in the closet for five minutes while you stuff your face with chocolate.
Sometimes it means almost doubling the grocery bill to buy foods without GMOs in hopes of bringing your family back to optimal health.
Sometimes it even means going to the gym and getting on the scale in front of another person, then letting that person pinch your fat, take your measurements, and hold you accountable for your new intentional commitment to fitness.
Sometimes intentional living is harder than I want it to be. Sometimes I'm not great at it. I find myself repeating this prayer over and over and over throughout each day:
"Lord, teach me to be intentional in this moment, because I'm really struggling with how."
Or this one:
"Lord, give me the strength to be intentional in this moment, because I really would rather do it my way."
Or this one:
"Lord, forgive me for not being intentional in that moment. Help me to see more quickly in the future all the ways in which I can make intentional choices."
Now that I'm concentrating on purposely, consciously, and intentionally making choices, I'm seeing just how selfish I am and have been, all my life really, but especially in these last few years.
What are you doing today to live with purpose and intention?
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Day 3 of 2015
Day 230 of my 32nd year
Day 11,918 of my life
If I live another ten years, that's only 3,652 days.
That isn't very many days.
And I'm not promised a single one of them.
Oh, Lord, teach me to number my days, so that I may gain a heart of wisdom!
:: Intentional ::
It's my word for 2015.
:: Intentional ::
Over the past 3 years, I've been anything but intentional about my life. Sure, I've had good intentions, but the follow-through was lacking.
* Going through the motions. Numb. Surviving. *
These are words that classify the last three years of my life. There have been MANY ups, happy times, smiles, blessings, laughter, and I am beyond grateful. But looking back, none of that was intentional.
The lines have blurred and many of the memories have faded from the last few years. I haven't documented in pictures from my own camera or writings beyond Facebook.
Housework has fallen by the wayside, and not because I'm too busy enjoying my children. I wish that were the reason. I haven't even been able to decorate our new home to make it "ours".
The television consumes far too much of my children's lives. It has been a crutch for me. Daily the thought goes through my head: if I can just survive this sickness…this grief…this pregnancy…this newborn phase…this terrible two phase…this life…then we will not watch TV ever again. (Which is not how I feel about it at ALL…it's certainly okay in moderation.)
Food is mundane. Cooking and grocery shopping are things I've enjoyed in the past. We eat out several times a week and my children eat the same, monotonous meals day in and day out.
The Lord has graciously given me the desire to be intentional this year.
We will be intentional about:
You might see a few more posts from me this year. So far in 2015, I've read more, prayed more, been sweeter to my children, joined the Y, and blogged more. Not because I'm so good, but because He has given me the desire to live life intentionally.
In the next few days, I will travel to Ohio to join my family as we lay to rest my Aunt Brenda. She was a beautiful, soft-spoken yet strong woman who fought cancer tooth and nail. She and my mom were the same age. If their deaths have taught me anything, it's that we are not promised tomorrow. I don't know if I will be here with my family next Christmas. So I will live each day intentionally, so my husband and children know where they stand with me.
In the next few weeks, I'll be writing my goals and intentions for the new year. I plan to make SMART goals that I can follow and check in with as the year progresses. Maybe I should've done this already, but truthfully, on December 31st, I didn't even want to make new goals or resolutions. So I'm grateful for this new desire.
Here's to an intentional 2015!